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Gonna blow like a mentos and coke.

Now think of that visual.

Got it?

Now think about the last time your preteen/teenager blew a gasket in your direction.

See any similarities?

In the generation of smart phones, multi server role play games, and x-boxes kids aren’t getting the experience of face to face communication. Fewer kids are regularly interacting in situations where they have to compromise and work with others in person. Sure, plenty of kids are working together online in a multi server game, role playing with a group of “kids”, if they ARE EVEN kids. But, if someone doesn’t like what someone else is doing in the game, they can just leave the game. Or as my daughter says “rage quit” lo l.

Nothing is talked about. No understanding of another persons thoughts or feelings. Or EVEN if there was an issue between kids in the game, it could have been all assumed and not correct.

In these games characters interact by typing in a chat room with each other or with message balloons above each character’s head in the game. We all KNOW how misunderstandings happen from only the written word. We all tend to put our own meaning to typed words using our own experiences to put our own tone on how that word or sentence is being said.

 

roblox 2

The role play world all what ever you decide it to be. My son is a leader of a group in his role play game. He makes the rules, decides who is in the group, and what the group is going to do that game. Once he gets off the role play game he has to adjust to real life, where someone else is in charge, like his parents! That adjustment can be difficult most the time. Hence the blow ups like a Mentos in the coke bottle visual.

Putting time limits on role play games and have a very direct discussion about the dangers sometimes in these role play games  is very important.  Keep an open dialogue and know what games you kids are playing. Even check the chat history in these games.

You can’t be too careful or vigilant when it comes to their safety.

roblox

 

 

The Trauma Tree

It’s hard to comprehend the impact of childhood trauma on the developing brain, but this concept of the trauma tree helps with understanding the impacts.

Source: The Trauma Tree – Understanding The Impact Of Childhood Trauma ~ STEAM Powered Family

Aside

Parents CAN make mistakes too.

What would you consider one of the most damaging things your parent(s) had said to you as a child?
This article is interesting. I can’t recall anything as horrible as these statements.
But my mom told me once I was just like my sister , and that has stuck with me.
My sister always used to call me goody two shoes. That might sound like something good to called.

 

I know with my 12 year old ,Cooper, we’ve  changed from telling him he’s “so smart”. I used to do that a lot. Thinking I was being positive. In reality, as it has turned out, like the person in the article said , if anything doesn’t come easy to him, then there must be something wrong with him, because he is “the smart one” ,so everything must come easy. A few years ago we started saying he was a hard worker instead. But he still has issues with tackling something that is difficult, get’s flustered, no study habits. Because he hasn’t had to yet. but things are getting tougher in middle school in challenge math.

Don’t let what is said to you as a child dictate who you grow into as an adult. All parents do the best they know how. not all have the best information themselves.

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