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Being on the outside of the “in” crowd at almost 50. 

July 16, 2016

Is it possible to still feel like you’re in high school at almost 50? 

Sitting here at the golf course waiting for my husband to finish his gold tournament , I sit by myself.  As I see these other groups of women,  all dolled up,  laughing and chit chatting. They obviously are a group that is together often.  Talking about their kids, if they finished painting the bedroom,  and a planned trip to the lake.  Why do I feel like I did I high school; outside the group looking in.  Is it a “me” thing?  I’m the common denominator in this equitation.  What do I expect?  They don’t know me.  They’re not gonna reach out and say “hey, come sit with us” as much as that scenario would feel great,  it’s not gonna happen. And would I do that if I saw someone sitting alone?  Not knowing of they were alone or waiting for someone,  like myself.  
It’s all this just a pitty party? Something to blame so I don’t have to do the work and continue to feel sorry for myself?  
The longer I sit here with 8 empty chairs,  and their group getting bigger with no seats left,  no one is asking if they can sit with me.  Maybe strike up a conversation out of necessity got a seat.  

So as this unfolds,  my husband gets done and sits down next to me.  He introduces me to one of the guys standing next to the table of ladies. He introduces me to his wife; one of “the group”. And that’s it. My husband goes off to clean up after 5 hours of golf and the “group” goes back to their inner circle of giggles. 

This is soooooo my problem lol

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One Comment
  1. Ang permalink

    Loved reading this, I know many key factors to this. Hate it and love it. Like to be in, but also do not want a bunch of it, cause troubles. They/whoever has not grown up, or maybe its me? All I know is it can be very hard.
    Thanks for such a wonderful piece, great topic for discussion.

    Like

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